Posted by: Mark Nielsen | October 26, 2007

Random Questions for a Full Moon Night

skinned furby! 

This is what a Furby looks like… after it’s been skinned alive… Bwah ha ha ha! ——>

Time for Marky to get snarky about our ridiculous culture again:

Am I the only one who thinks it odd that the movie Fred Claus is being released not at Thanksgiving– like most Christmas season movies– but in late October? (I like both Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti, but this one’s got the stink of DOA on it already.)

Does Fox Sports want us to count the pores on the nose of the players, or is there some other reason they do so many extreme closeups? (It’s not a horror movie, guys, it’s a ballgame.)

Did President Bush’s photo op last weekend while pretending to do some sportfishing in Maine reek of desperation, or what? (It’s far too late for the Accidental Rancher to start trying to pass himself off as an environmentalist now.)

Anyone out there actually planning on going to get your free taco at Taco Bell, compliments of a stolen base in the Series, between 2pm and 5pm next Tuesday? (For that matter, has anyone with a full-time job even been to a Taco Bell since you were 22 years old and got those dreaded 9pm munchies?)

Did anyone see Senator Jim Webb (D – VA) rationally pick apart the Bush administration’s Iran rhetoric and saber-rattling on the Lehrer Newshour Wednesday night? (Of course not… making a distinction between the actions of radical clerics within Iran and the actions of the more moderate government itself is beyond the average American’s ability to attend to the details of international affairs… that’s why the average American doesn’t watch the Lehrer Newshour.)

Shouldn’t Boyz II Men, who performed “God Bless America” during the seventh inning stretch tonight, change their name to “Boyz II Old Fogies”?  (And why didn’t the Sox just take full home-field advantage by playing “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond instead, like they do during the season?… SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!)

Did Mitt Romney secretly want to say “Barack Obama” when he meant to say “Osama Bin Laden” the other day in a public speech, or was it just a convenient accident? (He did it twice, at one point even starting to say “Osam-“, then un-correcting himself by saying Obama.)

Is Carrie Fisher one of the most underrated comic actresses of the past twenty five years? (She was brilliant tonight on 30 Rock, especially when she desperately screamed “Help me, Liz Lemon! You’re my only hope!” Yeah, it’s an easy joke, but she committed to it, and I completely cracked up.)

Finally, circling back around to Christmas: What’s the hot, new, gotta-have-it “Furby/Tickle Me Elmo/Pokey the Porcupine” stupid toy for young children gonna be this holiday season? (And yes, I just made up Pokey right now… anyone steals my intellectual property on this bold new idea, you’re dead meat! Those are my millions, just waiting to be claimed. Mine, I tell ya! Hey… get away from me with that straitjacket.)



  1. I do hit taco bell drive through more often than I care to admit. But I will steer VERY clear of there during free taco hour (ok… 3 hours). I can only imagine the chaos.

  2. But do you have a full-time job… or are you one of those blessed, eternal adolescents? 😉

  3. lol sadly enough, yes, a full time job… which is probably about half of why i would end up grabbing things like tacos on the drive home at 545 when i dont feel up to attacking something in the kitchen.

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