It’s Day Two of our “Break Up Song” celebration/whine-fest.
Today’s selections are intentionally more humorous or cheerful, because — let’s face it — life can get pretty absurd, especially in times of crisis. And if you can’t laugh about what feels ridiculous and out-of-sorts, you’re bound to get stuck somewhere within the essential grief process, and will probably end up bitter and self-protective.
I’ll add a few comments to go along with today’s two songs:
Our Codependent Love – Bob Bennett (Songs From Bright Avenue, 1991)
Bob Bennett is sort of an old school Christian folkie, and he’s still out there doing it, mostly in California. Most of his album Songs from Bright Avenue from 1991 is about the unexpected break-up of his marriage, and re-orienting his thinking about himself, his family, God, sin, and some psychological issues people often bury without dealing with them. It’s an astonishingly confessional collection of songs, and I may post another one from the album later this week.
But today’s selection is a goofy look at bad thinking habits in a marriage, counseling cliches, and all the self-help lingo that ends up getting tossed around (usually with good reason) when a marriage is in trouble. It was originally produced to sound like a live recording of a fictional lounge act, circa 1974 or so. So put on your leisure suit or Annie Hall polyester pantsuit and let’s get to the singing, …and laughing. I’m also thinking of making a bumper sticker out of one of the lines in this song: “I’m faking my mental health.” Whadya think?
Our Codependent Love – Bob Bennett/Phil Madeira
Going out of my head over you I've got you under my skin I'm gonna love you like nobody's loved you These boots are made for walkin'I never did anything You did not make me do That's why I can't believe You're telling me we're through I sacrificed everything It was the least that I could do Now I'm paying the tab And blaming it all on you And our codependent love Re-writing history It's a twisted kind of fun You can be Joan of Arc And I'll be Atilla Hon' When things get too complex And I'm feelin' kinda bad I shift myself into reverse And blame my mom and dad And our codependent love No matter how hard I try To live life to the full I know I can never be good enough Because I'm so dysfunctional My life is so lonely now The hours take too long But I've got six feet worth of books To tell me what went wrong With our codependent love When I need a vacation From tormenting trouble and trial I simply choose to take a cruise To the Island of Denial That Isle of Denial! I'm faking my mental health But I hope it never shows Hey, I think your inner child Just punched mine in the nose There's one thing I have to know And that will be enough How did we ever get along Before we knew all of this stuff About our codependent love Our codependent love? Our codependent love Did-not-want-to-end-it love Our codependent love I'm the defendant guilty of Our codependent love I-could-not-mend-it love Don't I look resplendent In our codependent love?
Even when you're gone, you're still around
Dairy Queen – Indigo Girls
This is a song I only just recently heard, though it has been around for a few years now. It’s not so much funny as it is cheerful, nostalgic, and hopeful. Musically, it has a bit of a reggae quality about it. So I will use it to help me picture a sunny day at the beach a few years from now, talking casually with my ex-wife about our marriage and the break-up, and what we lovingly gave each other before and even during the break-up.
Also, I will admit that of the two of us, I am actually the more likely person who will be “drunk and mean down at the Dairy Queen”. ;) But it’s a good statement of my hope for contentment and forgiveness, nevertheless.
DAIRY QUEEN – Amy Ray/Indigo GirlsINTRO: Am F C G Am F I heard that you were drunk and mean C G Down at the dairy queen Am F There's just enough of you in me C G For me to have sympathy CHORUS: Em C And take it in stride F C I know I had mine F C And you were as kind G I am told VERSE:(same) Ain't it funny how we lose one day And a lifetime Slips away I'm looking back on us that way Something I Never thought I'd say CHORUS: (same) I take it in stride I know I had mine It was good for a time I am told It was good for a time I am told VERSE: (same) The love you gave was not for free But the price Was truly fair I never felt so glad to be So well spent So beyond repair CHORUS:(same) I take it in stride At least you were mine If not for all the time Enough to hold… or at least … enough for me to haunt you. VERSE:(same) Now take good care that you are true You said you found it Hard to do And find that bit of faith that sets you free Having everything to prove CHORUS:(same) You take it in stride And know you got mine And it's good for a lifetime Or more I love you I love you more and more Oh I love you more and more