We have officially reached the third ring of marketing hell, people. Either that, or somebody found God in a bag of tasty treats and they just had to tell us. The title above, and the text to follow, are all taken directly from the back of a 9.25 oz bag of David brand sunflower seeds:
Seeders are unique. They’re cool, confident, independent, active, and hard working. They know that eating DAVID Sunflower Seeds makes what they do more enjoyable. Things are better with DAVID because they’re a snack and an activity. Experience SNACKTIVITY. (TM)
HOW TO EAT DAVID SEEDS
Crack the shell with your teeth, eat the seed and spit the shell. Experienced seeders pop a handful of seeds in their mouth and store them in one cheek, then trnasfer a seed over to the other side with their tongue, crack it, then eat the kernel and spit the shell.
DAVID – EAT. SPIT. BE HAPPY.
DAVID seeds are a great value and are good for you!
- Excellent source of VItamin E (an antioxidant), Phosphorous and Magnesium
- Natural source of fiber, zinc and folic acid
- 9 grams of Protein per serving
- Naturally Cholesterol Free
Thank you for selecting DAVID & SONS, perfecting the fine art of roasting since 1926.
While Sunflower Seeds are a healthful and delicious snacking choice, they are never recommended for infants or toddlers, as the seeds can pose a choking threat to their safety.
Visit us at www.davidseeds.com.
They’re a division of ConAgra Foods of Omaha, NE, one of the largest food conglomerates out there. So I’m betting that the original guy David is long gone, cashed out, swallowed up by the Goliath that is modern salesmanship, over-the-top posturing, and profiteering. Now, in the U.S. agricultural industry, we’re left with just a handful of Goliaths in David’s clothing.
And now I’m left with a stomach ache. (Not from the seeds, they’re fine. It’s the smarmy, psychologically manipulative, outlandish language on the bag that did it to me.)
p.s. I posted an entry at a simple desire today that goes into some related church issues on money, marketing, and keeping it all in perspective.