I just put up a serious and extended riff on “heaven” over at a simple desire. So to balance that out, I’m putting my wacked-out dream log over here. One has nothing to do with the other, which is the whole point. But I gotta be quick about it, cuz out here in the real world, real work awaits me. (Aha… you can see why I’d rather live in a dream world, or contemplate paradise…)
In my dream this morning, I was on a field trip with my students. I can’t even say where the trip was going, because for some reason, the whole busful of kids had stopped by a hospital to visit somebody we knew who was sick. I spent some time looking around inside the hospital for our friend, asking nurses and staff where they were, but got nowhere. So I went back outside and waited in line with the other kids, who were by now loading back onto the bus (apparently they didn’t get lost like I did, but had seen our friend and were moving on).
We were parked next to a truck, inside of which a radio deejay was doing a remote broadcast with Corky Siegel, a local blues/jazz harmonica player whom I have seen in concert before (and who I saw an ad about last week). Corky had a few players from his Chamber Blues band with him in the truck and they were about to play a song. So I stayed to watch, and moved to a better location just inside the door, to see better.
I only stayed in there for that one song, but still it was enough time to make a mess of things. During the song, the bus drove away, leaving me stranded. When I poked my head back out and saw this, I was hugely embarrassed. They’d probably counted heads for all the kids, but assumed the teachers could take care of themselves and had missed the fact that I was not on board.
I called one of the teachers on my cell, saying I would take a cab to the museum (or whatever our destination was). “I’m a grownup,” I said to the other chaperone. “It’s okay, I can solve these problems when they arise.” Soon after the cellphone call, I woke up.
What it means: it may point to my fear of being “found out”: of somebody at school (or a parent… this being parent/teacher conference day) believing that I’m actually no more organized or well-equipped than the kids to do this job. What if those who “can’t do”, actually can’t teach, either? How many ways can one get “lost”, even while trying to support others in a conscientious way?
Whatever! I’m not a failure, or a dummy. In reality, I have very little to worry about: I have the respect of most of the peers that actually matter, and I make very few dumb mistakes like that. It’s only a dream, right? So shut up, nagging unconscious mind! You’re not the boss of me.